Quirky Humans: The Lady from Brazil

She was raised in the Amazon rainforest on a house boat. She swam in the amazon almost daily as a child, and one day she wanted to go fishing. She had a good rope, and a hook. She attached it to the rope and flung it into the water. Snap. The hook was gone.

She got another hook, slightly larger this time and attached it to the rope. She tried again to throw it into the water. Snap. She was starting to get frustrated now.

She grabbed the biggest hook she could find on the ship, attached it to the rope, and heaved it far into the water. Snap.

She couldn’t believe it. She looked into the water, and saw some bubbles. These bubbles eventually revealed the snout of the biggest crocodile she’d ever seen. It had to have been the length of their house boat. (She confided that the house boat wasn’t very big to begin with, nor was it well made). Still she had a lovely time living in the amazon and now gets cold rather easily.

It was 28 degrees out and she easily had two long layers on. The last time I saw her,  she was off to take photos of an Osprey or some Mallard ducks. She gave me a hug before she left and said I had the prettiest eyes while she was stuck with boring blue. Here I was thinking I would rather have blue eyes than boring brown. Go figure.


Quirky Humans: Dog Whisperer

This man was very odd to me, he told me that he could really understand dogs. It was like they talked to him. He prefers dogs to humans but that’s pretty normal. He’s a pretty scruffy looking man himself. Always wears a hat, and works at a golf course.

He loves golf, it helped him when his first dog passed away. He likes Budweiser beer, and is very good at remembering names. He’s one of my favourite regular customers despite my early concerns that he was kind of a weirdo.

New Job!

I’m finally moving closer to my goal. I was a cashier working for minimum wage but now! I’m a gatekeeper at a conservation area working for slightly above minimum wage!

SO basically I moved in an almost horizontal line as gatekeepers and cashiers have very similar jobs… but it’s with a conservation area so I guess I’m stepping in the right direction. Yay?

Quirky Humans: Polite Drunken Man

So I was working a later shift and this man walked in and asked me if I could help him find grape juice. I asked him what kind and he said frozen, the cheapest. So I walked him over to the freezer section.

On the way, he confessed he was drunk and would never be able to find anything in this store. He also kept thanking me over and over when I pointed out the item or sales. He had trouble reading the list his buddy had apparently written him before sending him out into the cold night with very little common sense.

We spent maybe ten minutes looking, he pointed to the last item and asked, “Do you know what this is?”


He was so drunk he couldn’t read decent writing. So we get up to the till, and he hands me five dollars before I even start scanning any items. He says here.

Five dollars is not enough for the groceries. So I asked him what this was for.

He said it was a tip and society be damned if they say you don’t tip your cashiers. I left it where it was but said thank you. I got his groceries bagged up and he handed over some cash. I went to hand him his change and he was already waving telling me to add it to the tip pool.

Apparently I’d made some sort of impression on him as he asked for my name and shook my hand. Sadly I’m horrible with names.

I think it was Denis? Danny? David? Something like that. Hopefully he doesn’t remember me. Considering he was probably a regular.

Quirky Humans: Nickel Girl

Nickel Girl. My heart melted after she left. She was such a sweet little girl shopping with her mum. Her mum had just bought the purchase when this tiny girl with braids came up to the counter.

“I know I’m not here to buy anything.” Her voice was so quiet I almost had to lean over the counter to here her. “But I thought you were working hard so here’s a tip.”

And she slid a nickel across the counter. She was so shy, barely looking me in the eye and I almost died she was so cute. I thanked her for the coin and told her I loved her hair. She smiled before she waved and left.

All I could think about was how that girl was raised so right.And damn if my future kids aren’t as polite. I might scream.

Quirky Humans: Security Guard

This man is not my coworker but for a very long time I saw him practically everyday. He became so used to seeing me that he honestly asked me if I ever went home. This eventually escalated to ‘Blink twice if you’re being held hostage.’

He’s a very nice man that recently went through a divorce and is currently dating some woman who he doesn’t really mention a lot. We mostly talk about work. He gets called out to different places sometimes. He is by no means the police but he does something similar. He was recently promoted to supervisor. Around the same time I was I think. Either way we both apologized for the others promotion. Being in charge of idiots is a difficult thing. Luckily, I do not work with many idiots. Unfortunately, he does.

I get to here a few stories during the really slow times, apparently some woman thought someone was shooting around her house and he got her to safety before calling the cops.

The cops who had been there multiple times a week.

Turns out the furnace makes a lot of noise. That sounds like a gun.

Go figure.

He’s a very nice guy, a little paranoid. He’s got a call recorder cause he doesn’t trust people. He let me listen to one call where a girl prank called him and pretended that they’d broken up but wanted to get back together. Honestly her acting was flawless but you could tell that she was not confused when he told her she had the wrong number.

Overall one of the better customers. 10//10 would interact with again.

Quirky Humans: What is this? Manager

“What is this?”

“My sweater.”

“What is this?”

“The owner’s change for her coffee.”

“What is this?”

“Notes for the schedule you need to fix.”

“What is this?”

“A request for a day off.” On the paper with ‘Request for Days Off’ on it.

I have a manager, she’s in charge of a lot of things. She should not necessarily be in charge of a lot of things. I think I’d trust her with three maybe four things. Answering the phone and balancing the store are two of them. Being a decent human being makes this five actually. She’s a very nice woman. To like three of her workers. Out of maybe 16.

Things I would not trust her with:

Making a schedule,

Fixing  a schedule,

Remembering why she came downstairs (Hint: It had something to do with the schedule),

Remembering where she left her second coffee (She lost the first one),

Dealing with unruly customers,

Diffusing arguments,

Hiring people.

I swear she can be an awesome woman, she can do paperwork and office stuff easily but then they had to go and give her a bunch of other things and I think it just destroyed her brain a bit. No one should be expected to remember everything this woman has to remember.

“What is this?”

“Your umbrella from last week.”

“What is this?”

“A box?”

“What is it doing here?”

“I was refilling bags.”

“It shouldn’t be here.” Proceeds to put away the box I still need.

“What is this?”

“Someone forgot their mitts.”

“What is this?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where’d it come from?”

“I don’t know?”

“What should I do with it?”